Well friends, countrymen, countrywomen, colleagues, foreign nationals and humans of all shapes and sizes, we have now arrived at the end of the Mayan Tzolkin Long Count Calender, the end of the world. I am a little uncertain as to why a central american tribe gets to end the world for all of us, it seems a little absurd, like allowing a christian fundamentalist theologists to be the one who gets to call down the rapture on everyone else. Nonetheless, it is apparent that the Mayan astrologers did call the end of the world for dec. 2012 when there long count calendar would flip over, so we must heed the warning!
Wait one second…did I say flip the calendar? What is that about? We flip the Calendar every year. We flip from Dec. 31st to Jan. 1st every year. In doing so does the world end? Actually, we just set off some fire works, drink a lot, get into occasional debauchery and trouble, and wake up hung over. In fact, if we were not all about to transcend, this year we would be celebrating the end of the world known as 2012 and the beginning of the world known as 2013, but no western calendar fanatics are calling for mass destruction or transcendence…what gives? Maybe the Judeo-Christian Latin world was not as apocalyptic and blood thirsty as the Central American Mayan people. Well, actually, I am sure the JCL’s are more blood thirsty, you see, the subjugated the entire world, installed the Latin Calendar as the world system, along with Coca Cola and Starbucks as the world drink, and put a salvation with only room for some 3000 folks to transcend in there holybook. That is pretty bad. The Latins win hands down for the greatest bloodiest conquering and exclusionary tribe of known history.
So what if the end of the Mayan Calendar is just a Calendar flip? Well, actually, it is. Now don’t get mad, if you want to transcend to the 13th dimension right now, be my guest. I am all for that. But concerning the facts of the Mayan calendar itself and the mythic meanings it is said to embody, one of the difficulties we have is that the Latin culture we were talking about actually wiped out 99.99% of Mayan books, and the entire Native Mexican priest class intellectual structure which knew the complete oral history of what was going on. Thus sadly, we don’t actually know what thir scientific priest class was thinking when they carved these dates in stone, because white man is so good at destroying tribal traditions. We destroyed their culture, thank God we did. If we hadn’t then certainly the international economic crises would be far worse this year as we wouldn’t have a thriving market of quartz and amethyst sales as people prepare to meet HaHe ReRo when they transcend to the Pleiades. (speaking of which, feel free to call me for a crystal guaranteed to aid in spiritual transcendence for a mere 150 U.S. I have blessed it with my special spiritual substance and boy does it vibrate!) The downside of it all, is know we get to guess at why they would carve dates in stone.
Here is a very brief summary of what is known of the Mayan long count calendar system. According to the Mayan system this world was established on August 11, 3114 BC. It is interesting that a whole lot of people who scoff at the christian theocratic assertion that the world is only 6 or 7 thousand years old have no problem jumping on the Mayan calendar band wagon, which states this world, the 4th world started in 3114 B.C. What is indicated here is that the calendar turned over then, and a new age of man was started. The fourth. Now we are where the 5th Age would theoretically start. For at December 21, 2012 is simply the day that the calendar will go to the next b’ak’tun. B’ak’tun’s are roughly 5126 years long. So, the Mayan Calendar flips from the date 22.214.171.124.0 to 126.96.36.199.0 that night. Whoot! Now making it to another B’ak’tun was considered a major universal feat. It was a time of Ceremony. Now we should all remember that Ceremony is a translated as drinking, partying, and dancing in traditional societies.
Do you see where we are. We are back at the beginning. The end of the world, is just the new year. The flipping of the calendar, and a great time for drinking, partying, enjoying, celebrating. We made it! We get to see the calendar flip. We might not evolve into photonic rainbow light on Dec. 21st 2012, but at least we can really have a good excuse for some drinking, dancing, sex, and rock and roll that night! Well, one second. An important note is that ceremony in a traditional sense also involved trying to become better humans and praying. This is just like your New Years resolution. We must not only party, but try to become better humans and better caretakers of the garden, that is the earth. Don’t forget that part. It is important.
As the Beasties said so eloquently: YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO PARTY.
This post is for Jolie Colby. Thank you for the inspiration dear.
For further reading: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maya_calendar or the book recommended below.