It turns out that Mercury is going retrograde again, as it does two to three times a year. Now as you undoubtedly know if you have found your way to these words, Mercury Retrograde is time of confusion, mayhem, and chaos in the areas ruled by Mercury. As a quick recap this is travel, mercantilism, electronics, and communication. Hmmm….that sounds a lot like what the holiday season has come to be about in the great and magnificent western world. “Uh. Oh.” you might say. In fact, I just read an article on the daily beast that was very much promoting Mercury Retrograde as a fearful experience. Please, do not take it as so, it can be enjoyable when you know how to handle it.

Ok. well when is this great disaster set to befall us, lets look at the ephemeris, ok,…here we are, Dec. 10th. That is when Mercury goes retrograde. R-day falls upon us then. You should have your doors barricaded, your ammo collection fully stocked up, and prepare for Sarah Palin to forcefully take over the US government by that date. Ok, I am just kidding, Sarah Palin has Mercury Direct in her natal chart, it is in the 12th house, the place of her own undoing though, thus her speech and thought is her own hidden enemy and undoing.

First a little practical advice for this particular Mercury Retrograde cycle: buy all travel tickets and all electronic gifts you are planning on giving for Christmas before then. Got that? Good, practical materialism advice is now out of the way, lets did into complex astrology mumbo jumbo for the rest of the post.

Astrology is made of testimonies, and the testimonies for this time period are not all that bad. Jupiter is direct in Pisces, in what is known as the wet part of the sky. Expect a good deal of wetness through January. Combining this with Mercury Retrograde expect airline delays due to snow and winter weather. Plan ahead for this, give yourself a little extra travel time! Since Jupiter is in a good and happy place and he is the great benefactor in astrology, this actually points to a time where well being and good feelings can be had easily. Do not  fight Mercury, rather rely on Jupiter. Take this time to visit teachers, study philosophy, plan enjoyable outings and grand dinner parties. Spend your time this holiday season with your family in front of the fire place reading your favorite books out loud (since your home entertainment system is going to break down Muahahaha).

This is the joy of Jupiter. Jupiter really enjoys it when you get spiritual or religious, and isn’t that what this holiday season about? This is thus a great Christmas, commerce is down and faith is up. If your an aetheist, you can have fun to, because your religion is science, so honor Jupiter by reading Carl Sagan (just not his anti astrology books, please, they are philosophically shallow). If your a buddhist, give Dali Lama books this Christmas, your friends are going to be hankering for something spiritual after all of there commerce and communication failures. If you are a Christian, well this is the holiday for you! Do good works, Jupiter is on your side, and in pisces, the symbol of the fish.

Back to that pesky Mercury, shall we. Mercury means the mind, it is the planet that rules thought and the motion between polarities. This is why it is associated with electronics, as well as thought and travel. Retrograde means it is changing its normal course and direction. If you slow down during a Mercury Retrograde period everything will go fine. Repeat the mantra with me…give yourself extra time, give yourself extra time, give yourself extra time. You just do that and all will be fine. No worries.

Use Jupiter, good feelings, love, and generosity this Holiday season and all will be fine. Cheers, and happy holidays, and finish your shopping at Thanksgiving.

Well, since it is the holidays, call or email me for an astrology reading Gift Certificate and get 25$ off the price. Just mention the passcode “Mercury is Retrograde! Runaway!”  for your discount. From now until Monday the 29th. Whoot! Whoot!